If Wishes Were Fishes

I would rather be dead than alive in this life.

So very exhausted from all the disputes.

The endless senseless fights. 

I try and I try and I try. 

But I just can’t seem to get by. 

The evil overwhelms me. 

The guilty have no shame. 

They don’t even think there are  consequences to their wicked schemes. 

They use your name in vain. 

Profanity. 

I wish I was finished with this race I had so foolishly chosen. 

I can no longer find the fun in the day to day. 

I can’t seem to find the sun. 


So why oh why should I stay?


I think if I hadn’t lost my sweet son to suicide, if I didn’t know the helplessness that overwhelms you, the consequences, maybe I would just jump off this carousel, leave this unforgiving world.

 

But my faith won’t let me. 


And I can’t do that to my living son and daughter. 


So I suppose I will cling onto this perpetual round and round upside down frown until my God calls me home. 


Even though the loneliness overwhelms me every day. 


I guess I will stay and dream about the day I am reunited with those who have set the stage. 


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