Sweet Dreams

I can't seem to stop quietly crying. 


My heart. 


My soul. 


Nay even my brain are in horrible mind boggling pain.  


I just can't seem to get past the death of my oldest child. 


I can't accept it. 


I can't even hardly explain it. 


I am most certainly sure this pain, 

this denial will never dissipate. 


Will never leave. 


Never ever go away. 


i know it's not logical. 


I know it's nonsensical

because i was there to say my goodbyes


Sigh. 


There you peacefully lay there on the cold hard slab. 


Looking like you were asleep. 


Hopefully dreaming of better days happier day. 


So if those thoughts help me get through rather than the cold dark lonely harsh truth, then that's where I shall choose

to remain. 


Until happier days. 


Oh my sweet cheeks. 


Sweet sleep. 


Sweet dreams. 

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