Welcome To My World

I finally found it. 


The key. 


Well, I HAVE known Jesus  since I was five. 


One of the few chosen ones. 


Yes me. 


Silly me. 


The key to this particularly monstrous over a year thing. 


Here.  


Welcome to my world. 


This seemingly endless carnival. 


Deluded. 


Confused. 


Defeated. 


Used. 


Tossed aside as if I was absolutely useless. 


Unworthy. 


Ugly. 


By so called men of God. 


Abused. 


Scary upside down frowns abound. 


I’ve learned the hardest way I must only pray for His will in my troubled soul overflowing with humility. 


That’s what this year has taught me  

if nothing else. 


Unending guidance.  


Unceasing prayer. 


On my knees. 


I can’t jeopardize my child’s life again for anyone or anything. 


We have never gone without what we 

need. 


Not that I haven’t complained.  


But never once has my precious son. 


And our dear friends have it much worse.


But now dare I believe this grueling battle is actually over?


Well…


I AM the storm after all. 


I am a powerful warrior in God’s army. 


And for the first time in my almost 69 m years, I kind of like me. 


Welcome to my world. 



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